STUPID Questions with SMART Answers =p

I received this email few days ago.. Just want to share.. =D
I hope you laugh too..

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : '...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?'
Boyfriend : 'Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday'.

Teacher : 'Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?'
Pupil : 'The moon'.
Teacher : 'Why?'
Pupil : 'The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it'.

Teacher : 'What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?'
Pupil : 'A teacher'.

Waiter : 'Would you like your coffee black?'
Customer : 'What other colors do you have ?'

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher : 'Sam, you talk a lot !'
Sam : 'It's a family tradition'.
Teacher : 'What do you mean?'
Sam : 'Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher'.
Teacher : 'What about your mother?'
Sam : 'She's a woman'.

Tom : 'How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?'
David: 'You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated'.

Teacher : 'Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?'
Student : 'Brotherly love'.

Teacher : 'Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?'
Sam : 'No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook'.

Patient : 'What are the chances of my recovering doctor?'
Doctor : 'One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died'.

Teacher : ' Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?'
One Student : 'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.'

Teacher : ' George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?'
One Student: ' Because George still had the axe in is hand.'